


What Touches Me

by flowerfan



Series: Providence [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fear of Coming Out, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6737551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerfan/pseuds/flowerfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It hurts, not being able to tell the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Touches Me

“Tater thought I was on the phone with ‘my girl.’” 

Bitty and Jack are skyping, but despite having Jack’s face right in front of him, Bitty can’t read it. He thinks that Jack has perfected the art of the poker face, even though when he’s alone with Bitty he lets it go most of the time. Now, however, is not one of those times. It makes Bitty’s heart twinge, seeing Jack shut down like this. Something’s bothering him.

“It’s not the first time someone has assumed you have a girlfriend,” Bitty says. “Lord, I thought you dated girls, and I lived in the same house with you.”

Jack doesn’t say anything, but his eyes look sad. Bitty wishes he could hold him, kiss him until he relaxed and said what was on his mind. They haven’t seen each other since a quick visit just before the semester began, and Bitty feels like they are losing ground. But there’s nothing to be done about it tonight.

Not sure how to proceed, Bitty changes the subject, and asks Jack if he has made any progress picking out a present for his mother’s birthday. In his opinion, a Zimmerman jersey is a lovely gift, but perhaps could be accompanied by something more creative. Jack loosens up, chirps Bitty over his willingness to spend hours online looking for just the right pie plate (Jack’s mom had expressed an interest in Bitty’s recipes, so why not send her a handwritten copy with all the equipment necessary for the maple crusted apple?), and the uncomfortable moment passes.

The next time Bitty and Jack talk in the middle of the day, he can tell Jack is censoring himself. They often try to touch base around lunchtime, when Jack is heading home for a food and a nap, and Bitty is between classes. 

“Are you worried about people overhearing us?” Bitty asks. It’s not as if they are having an x-rated conversation – those talks are reserved for late at night, each alone in their beds, aching to be closer.

“No, of course not,” Jack responds. But Bitty doesn’t believe him. He’s not sure it’s going to get any better, however, until he can see Jack in person.

Neither of them have a free weekend for the foreseeable future, so one Tuesday night Bitty borrows Lardo’s car. He’ll have to head right back in the morning, but waking up early isn’t a problem for him. And it’s clearly worth a night with Jack.

Lardo knows about them – she tried to talk to Bitty a few nights ago about replacing some equipment right after Bitty had finished an emotional Skype session with Jack, and when Bitty proved entirely unable to focus on the conversation, instead continuing to stare mournfully at his computer screen, she put two and two together. The fact that Bitty had been clutching his tiny lego Falconer probably didn’t help keep the secret.

It was okay, though, because Jack had already told Shitty, and this made it easier for all of them. At least, Bitty hoped that having Shitty to talk to helps Jack as much as having Lardo in the know helps him. It makes it seem more real when Lardo gives him a knowing smile in the evening, as he says goodnight to Chowder and skips up the stairs for his evening Skype session with Jack. And when Ransom keeps referring to Jack during practice, at least Lardo understands why Bitty’s concentration sometimes wanders from hockey to other activities involving their former captain.

Bitty makes it to Providence right at rush hour, and turns his music up louder, determined to stay in a good mood despite the heavy traffic. It’s around seven when he pulls up in front of Jack’s house, a parking space miraculously empty on the street. 

Jack is opening the door before Bitty even reaches it. He pulls Bitty inside and wraps him in a tight hug. Bitty breathes him in, pets his shoulders, pulls back to give him a quick kiss which rapidly intensifies.

Bitty shifts and his duffel bag falls off his shoulder to the floor. Jack steps back, a bashful look on his face. “Sorry, um, come in?”

Bitty laughs. “Aren’t you the cutest thing.” He reaches up and kisses Jack again, then takes his hand and leads him into the living room. The apartment hasn’t changed much since Bitty was here at the end of the summer; Jack isn’t very good at personalizing his environment. Maybe someday Bitty will be here long enough to help him with that.

Bitty sits down on the beige couch and pats the space next to him. “Come here.”

Jack obediently sits, but he’s nervous. “Do you want dinner? We can order in, or I’ve got some chicken.”

“I’m not starving. If you’re okay waiting, there’s something I’d rather do first.”

Realization dawns on Jack’s face, and if Bitty thought he was adorable before, well, it’s only getting better. Jack shuffles closer to Bitty and rests his hand on his shoulder, runs it down his arm, picks up his hand and kisses his palm. Bitty feels it in his toes. “I’m good with waiting,” Jack agrees.

It feels like coming alive again, kissing Jack, straddling him on the couch and letting him touch him all over. Bitty’s bracing himself on his elbows, hands in Jack’s hair, and Jack’s sliding his hands up under Bitty’s shirt, his fingertips scraping along his back. Then Jack’s gripping his ass, and Bitty hears himself moan as Jack pulls him tight against his body. Just when Bitty thinks it’s going to be over far too soon, Jack sits up, moving Bitty with him. “Bedroom, now.”

It’s a fantastic idea. Clothes come off in a flurry of hands and mouths and heated looks. They resume their previous positions, this time fully naked, Jack losing no time in returning his mouth to Bitty’s neck and his hands to Bitty’s ass. They’ve done this before, as many times as they could manage during their last visit, and Bitty is aching for a repeat performance. 

He slows them down a little, though, after Jack has stretched him and he is fully seated on Jack’s cock, breathing hard and trembling. He takes one of Jack’s hands, holds it against his chest, lets Jack feel the firm muscles he has worked so hard to keep up over the summer. He moves it slowly down to his hip, to the curve there, to his slender waist. Jack’s eyes flicker from what Bitty is doing up to his face and back down again, pupils blown. 

Then Bitty sets his hand on his own cock, hard and wanting between them. He can’t help gasping as Jack strokes him, the sensations almost overwhelming him.

“I’m no girl,” Bitty says, beginning to move up and down on Jack. He searches Jack’s face, trying to see if his message has come across, but Jack thrusts up into him, taking control of the rhythm, and it’s all he can do to hold on and enjoy the ride.

After they have come down, Jack lazily wiping them off and then tossing the cloth off the side of the bed, he turns to Bitty, head on his hand, the other resting on Bitty’s hip.

“I know you’re not a girl,” Jack says softly. “You’re a man. The most beautiful man I’ve ever met.” He takes Bitty’s hand and holds it to his chest, shuffling closer to wrap a foot around his calf. “That’s not why I was upset.”

“Then why?” Bitty stores away his relief for another time. “It never bothered you before when people assumed you hooked up with girls.”

Jack sighs. “It didn’t matter then. It didn’t have anything to do with me, what people thought about that. Whether I was dating anyone just wasn’t relevant.” He pushes his forehead against Bitty’s, pulls him tighter against his chest. “It matters now, because I have you.”

 _Oh._ “You do have me, sweetheart, you do,” Bitty breathes out, as he tries to process what Jack is saying. “It hurts when you can’t tell people the truth,” he says gently, and Jack nods against him.

“Yeah.”

This is a feeling Bitty is all too familiar with, and one he hasn’t yet escaped – every phone call with his parents brings it right back. It’s not fair, either to him or to Jack.

“You know, if you ever decide to come out, I would support you-” Bitty starts.

“I know.”

“I’d tell my parents. About me.” Coach would have to be pleased that he was dating a hockey star, right?

“I couldn’t make you do that.”

“You wouldn’t be making me. I’m going to have to tell them eventually.”

Jack flops on to his back, pulling Bitty with him. Bitty slides closer, tucks his face against Jack’s neck and curls up against him. “I’m going to have to tell everyone eventually, too,” Jack says. He sounds more confident than nervous.

“I know, sweetheart.”

“Not now, but, maybe… at the end of the season?”

“Whenever you want. I mean it.” Bitty’s scared for Jack, but not scared enough to stop him from doing what he needs to do to be true to himself. Nothing is worth that.

“What would I do without you, Bitty?” Jack smiles softly and presses a kiss to Bitty’s mouth, taking a moment to pull at his bottom lip.

Bitty grins and leans back. “I’m not sure, but it definitely wouldn’t involve pie.”

“Pie?”

“Yes, pie. And dinner.”

“Dinner?” Once again, adorable Jack has returned. 

“Clearly. If we’re going to keep this up, we need more protein.”

Jack laughs – which was obviously the point of Bitty’s comment – and they roll out of bed and pull on their clothes. Jack orders Italian and Bitty starts preparing their dessert while they wait for the food to arrive. And if Jack is a little more interested in kissing the flour off Bitty’s cheek than helping slice the apples, and Bitty sways his hips a little more than necessary as he rolls out the dough, and their lasagna lies uneaten on the counter while they engage in an enthusiastic round two on the kitchen floor, there's no one around to mind.


End file.
